MICHIGAN DIVORCE TOP TIPS #4: Prenups are Romantic...and Smart

Contrary to the popular myth, a Prenuptial Agreement (or "Prenup" for short) can be a great way to keep the spark of romance alive. 

A Prenuptial Agreement is a legal contract, negotiated and signed before a marriage takes place, which provides for how the couple will handle the assets and debts each are bringing into the marriage and the income and changes in their finances which may occur after the wedding.

Want to kill the romance?  Imagine this scenario:  Anne and Bill are about to embark on a second marriage. Anne is divorced and Bill is a widower. They each have substantial assets and children, ranging from their teens to their early 30s.  The kids initially were thrilled about their parent's new partner -- and then the kids started wondering: "What happens if mom [dad] passes away?  Will Anne [Bill] get everything?  Will I be cut out of the estate?  If they get divorced, will mom or dad lose half of everything they now have?  Will they [we] have a home?"

Now imagine future Thanksgivings and holidays with both sides of the family eyeing each other with suspicion as part of a perceived "winner take all" battle for mom or dad's resources.  EVEN IF their fears about the new spouse (and the law) are unfounded, the fact is that loving couples and families can be torn apart based on fears that a parent’s new spouse may pose a risk to the other spouse's (or their children's) financial security.

Clients have thanked me for how a thoughtful Prenup helped their new family blend happily. Prenups and estate-planning can reinforce respect for the new spouse and a more welcoming frame of mind between families. Imagine a newly blended family where the family members can focus on enjoying their holidays and celebrations together for years to come -- without a sense of creeping ill will or high-stakes financial drama. 

Engaged people tell me that the topic of a Prenup is awkward — it's often thought of as "unromantic" or "taboo."  Of course, the discussion of a Prenup should be handled with respect — and not in a "last minute" rush before the wedding day. By working together on the terms of a Prenup, a couple can plan their financial futures and protect their existing assets and family relationships while showing sound judgment and mutual respect for one another. Not a bad way to step into married life.

Looked at from this perspective, consider a Prenups as a potentially great way to help keep that "loving feeling" alive.