Your First Christmas After Divorce (Guest Blog: Siri Gottlieb, LMSW, JD)
Holiday time, while often filled with joy and family tradition, also brings anxiety and depression for many. Newly-divorced people are particularly vulnerable; divorce requires a re-tooling of family traditions that have been meaningful for many years.
Here are some tips for making it through the season despite the sadness and anger that often linger after divorce:
Keep your expectations modest. Decide on the things most important to you and let go of the rest. The holiday will not be the same as it used to be; stay positive and know that this will get easier with time.
Keep some of the old traditions, but make some new ones. Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, or somewhere you’ve always wanted to go? Plan ahead, and enjoy yourself.
Remember to put the needs and well-being of the kids first. Seek ideas from them for new ways to celebrate. Deliver cookies to elderly neighbors; volunteer at a soup kitchen; set up a crafts table to make your own ornaments; watch a holiday movie.
Reach out to loved ones – friends and family – and try to create some time to be with them, on a low-key basis -- this should relieve some stress, not create more! Protect yourself from negative people – you need positive energy around you.
Take good care of yourself: healthy food, enough sleep, do things you enjoy and skip those you aren’t interested in but somehow feel obligated to do; check in with yourself frequently to make sure what you are doing is where you want to put your energy.
Focus on small delights – a walk in the snow, holiday lights around the neighborhood, baking cookies – or just buy them! Be good to yourself, you deserve it.
NOTES FROM BANFIELD COULING LAW & MEDIATION:
(1) Our sincere thanks to Siri Gottlieb, LMSW, JD for the helpful and timely article.
(2) For more information on Siri’s practice area (which include counseling, mediation, parenting time planning and parenting coordination, visit: http://www.sirigottlieb.com/.
PLEASE NOTE: This blog is not intended to constitute legal, financial or tax advice. We do not recommend making important decisions without the benefit of specific legal or professional advice addressing your issues and concerns. We at Banfield Couling Law and Mediation PLLC are here to help navigate your legal matter at any stage of your divorce or family law matter.