Top Ten Tips to Protect Your Children from the Stress of a Divorce

While children inevitably will experience change as a result of their parent’s divorce, loving parents can reassure their children and protect them from as much divorce-related stress as possible.  Jamie O’Brien, Michigan family law attorney, mediator and parenting coordinator, offers her Top Ten Tips for shielding your children from as much stress as possible.

The following are the Top Ten recommendations for divorcing parents on how to minimize the impact of your divorce on your children:

1.            DO discuss the Divorce with your child or children together.  Plan it out before the meeting.  If necessary, have the meeting with a therapist.

2.            DO NOT introduce your child or children to someone you are dating, even as a friend.  Children are not emotionally ready for this step until they have had time to adjust to the Divorce, which can be many months after the divorce is final. 

3.            DO NOT use your child or children as messengers.  This is very stressful for children.  If you are unable to communicate, use email or Our Family Wizard.

4.            DO NOT fight or argue, especially about the Divorce issues, in front of your child or children. 

5.            DO encourage a loving relationship with the other parent.  Remember, your child or children need both of you in their lives.

6.            DO NOT disparage the other parent, especially in front of your child or children.  This behavior is very harmful to children.  A child may experience the insult to the other parent as if you are saying it about the child personally.  Remember, your children are a part of both you and the other parent.

7.            DO try to keep things as normal as possible for the child or children while the divorce is pending.  All of the changes happening at once can be difficult for children to handle.  Try to maintain typical schedules for as long as possible.

8.            DO reassure your child or children that everything is going to be okay.  It is easy to get caught up in the divorce and forget that, during this challenging time, your child needs extra love and attention.

9.            DO NOT discuss the details of the divorce with your child or children.  Leave “adult information” to the adults.  Older children may ask questions, but it is okay to reassure them that the adult issues are being taken care of and reassure them that it will be okay.

10.         DO NOT ask your child or children to choose who they want to live with.  Inviting a child to choose between parents can be very harmful to his/her mental health and too much for him/her to handle. 

If you would like additional information about these recommendations, Contact Banfield Couling, PLLC.  www.banfieldcouling.com or www.FamilyLawNavigator.com

PLEASE NOTE: This blog is not intended to constitute legal, financial or tax advice.  We do not recommend making important decisions of the type addressed in this article without specific legal or professional financial advice in advance.  We at Banfield Couling Law and Mediation PLLC are here to help navigate your legal matter at any stage of your divorce.